Why Does my Husband Keep Telling Me to “Just Relax”?

Posted: July 17, 2008 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I am one of those people who is always doing seven things at once. It used to be called ‘multi-tasking,’ I think, but now I’ve read in several places that doing more things at one time just stresses people out. Gee, really? I never would have guessed!

I thought with summer here, I would have all this time to get stuff done that I was, honestly, too exhausted to do during the school year. But my list keeps getting longer. Here is a sample of how high I’ve set the bar for myself:

  1. Work on home improvement things, such as: paint the floor of our concrete porch, finish faux painting my daughter’s resale shop furniture, finish touch up painting from last year, finally paint our kitchen cabinets, put up trim boards that have been stuffed in a closet for months, finish painting in the bathroom, finish changing out old electrical outlets. This is just a sample, of course! However, I am happy to say that we have done a lot since moving in last June! This place was in need of heavy renovations before we could even live here…there were metallic monarch butterflies in the bathroom. Nobody should be made to live in that horror.
  2. Read books. Why does this sound like a chore? It’s really not, because I love books. But it takes time to read them, even though I read faster than most people. And time is hard to find! Try sitting down in a comfortable chair to read a book when a three-year-old is awake in your house. It is an exercise in extreme frustration! And I have too many other things to do while she’s napping or sleeping to sit down and read! Let me just say, thank goodness she still naps!
  3. Work on my scrapbooks. I have two right now that I want to finish, plus several more waiting in the wings. One is Sophie’s from age one. (She’s three now, so you can imagine how many more I have in mind for her!) Plus, I am putting together 2 scrapbooks of my parent’s 2003 trip to Italy. My mom bought all the stuff, but a scrapbooker she is not. So I offered to do them for her. A lot of work, but they are turning out awesome! Plus it is good practice (and good samples) for when my business idea comes into being.
  4. My actual job, as a preschool teacher. I have the summer off, but I want to plan for next year, plus I am dealing with those issues from my previous post. (I emailed my boss and she told me to write down my issues and send them to her. I don’t think she knows quite how heavy these issues are, but I am going to do the letter and send it to her. Fingers crossed!) So I have songs and poems to gather, materials to gather, ideas and lessons for units to write down, etc., etc.
  5. Be a decent parent while I am at home with my three-year-old all day, every day. You would think this would be easier since I teach three-year-olds for my actual job, but, sadly, I make many mistakes as a parent. I am not as patient as I would like to be, and I don’t do as many “kid activities” as I think I should. It’s hard to devote large chunks of time to playing dress up or mooshing homemade play doh or coloring pictures with that nagging voice in my head saying…shouldn’t you be doing this…and this…and this, and this? It’s one of those day by day things, I think, where I keep saying, “I’ll do better tomorrow, I promise I will!”

There. A list of five things. Simple, right? Just relax, stop trying so hard. That’s what I hear from my husband. His mindset is very different from mine. He doesn’t have the constant to-do list in his head that I have. He is not the main house cleaner, child-raiser and bill payer. He gets to just plunk his tired self on the couch and shoot people for three hours in Liberty City because he has the “I work two jobs” excuse. But that’s a rant best saved for another post…


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